The Far Side: Yearbook Forecasts, Quiznos and High School Wisdom

2010 marks the 10-year anniversary of my high school graduation. I have drank a LOT of beer since then. Had a few laughs. Started a blog. And been punched in the jaw. Also, I graduated college, got married, bought a house and had a baby. In those regards, I would say I have done pretty well. My wife would probably call me the Peyton Manning of family men, if you asked her. Or you can just take my word for it. However, my professional life leaves a little to be desired. OK, a lot. Especially since my classmates voted me, “Most likely to be the next Gary Larson.”

Sadly, I am not the next Gary Larson, nor anywhere closer to becoming the next Gary Larson than I was 10 years ago. I’m not even close to becoming the next Brad Anderson. Get it? (He draws Marmaduke …. Marmaduke is really bad.) I’m pretty much your average non-comic-drawing dude. I work in an office, you know, like the TV show, Suddenly Susan. I put my pants on just the same as the rest of you. I eat at Quiznos®. I drive a Saturn®. At least I wasn’t voted, “Most likely to be the Prime Minister of Djibouti,” like another one of my classmates. I wonder where he’s at on that? I would assume one would have to live in Djibouti in order to pursue the position of Prime Minister, in which case, that’s just way too hot for me. No, thanks. Best of luck to you. Anyways ….

Marmaduke

I don’t envision any type of Gary Larson career path in my future. Sorry to disappoint, 2000 yearbook staff. However, life isn’t getting any cheaper and I’m not Benjamin Button. It’s time to step up my game, and make a name for myself, like Teen Wolf. So, I thought I would refer to my senior quotes for inspiration:

“I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” – John Lennon

All this does is make me want to watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

“I wish I had a more comfortable chair.” – Anonymous

Now I’m just embarrassed.

“Let it be.” – John Lennon

OK. Either I was really digging John Lennon and The Fab Four when I was 18, or I was too lazy to inquire as to whether or not anyone else in the history of the English language ever said something memorable, provocative or inspirational.

But, now that I think about it, “Let it Be” might just work.

Whenever I have “Let it Be” in my life, good things have happened. I met my wife at such a time. My child was unexpected. Right now, at a time I have shed the stress of hating my job, I feel better than I have in ages. Just the other day, I got two packs of Twizzlers® from the vending machine at work for the price of one. Things are looking up. Perhaps I was smarter than my grade point suggested in high school?

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

Here’s to good things coming to those who wait!

Watch out Gary Larson! … No, not really.

Ribs

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