I Love Animal Commercials!

Sometime in 1967 in a sub-aquatic lair off the coast of California, Super Bowl advertisers, using a very large needle, tapped into the subconscious of sports fans and consumers to discover that the concept of animals doing people things is poop-your-pants (PYP) funny! Boy, oh boy, do we love it:

Hamsters flying a plane! That’s genius, Microsoft®! I’m a PC for life. I’ll tell you that much.

Are those bears performing open-heart surgery? They don’t have opposable thumbs! Where does a bear get a medical license, anyways? Pepperdine, maybe? That’s so silly! Bravo, Jiffy Lube®! Bravo!

Lizards can’t play backgammon! The rules are far too complex for their lizard brains. I don’t know where Pepsi® is going with this, but I know where I’m going. To the store. To buy Pepsi.

You know, I always knew if an animal were to be elected president it would be a squirrel. My ex-girlfriend always said it would be a donkey or an elephant. I know. Stupid. Thanks for affirming that, Combos®.

Is that a gorilla filing a tax return? I wonder if bananas are a write-off. Does he earn his income doing monkey business? Get it? Oh, Pizza Hut™, you’ve really outdone yourself!

president squirrel

He's got my vote!

Well, I can cross that off my Bucket List. #43: Watch a Walrus rent a car. Thank you, eBay®. That reminds me. I better check on my bid for that A-Team lunch box.

Hold the phone! That’s a pig driving a Mazda® Miata. I can’t believe this. Honey, are you seeing this? Honey! There is a pig driving a Mazda Miata on TV. Right now! On the TV! I’ve got to tell Theo. I’m going to call him. What? What’s wrong with Theo? He hit on you at the Christmas party? And I’m just hearing about this now? That son of a …

Wow, Corona®! I’ve heard of cows doing gymnastics, but this is ridiculous!

What’s that turtle going to do with that hammer? Oh, I heard about this one. I bet this is going to be good. Is he? Yep, he sure is. You’ve got to be kidding me! Unbelievable! That turtle just built a birdhouse. Wait … that’s so lame, Burger King®!

Hmm … Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah, Osama Bin Laden and LeBron James are all eating at Outback Steakhouse®. I like where this is going. But. Wait. Where are the animals? I don’t see any animals. I can’t make heads or tails of this. Maybe the waitress will be an animal? No. No. Just some actress. This is stupid. I’m never eating there again. No sir.

That’s all I got


PS – I’m Still Laughing over that dog putting the shock collar on the person. Funny stuff, Doritos®. Funny stuff.


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